Fractured or Broken?

I.

Christmas morning, we sat in a princess 

tent in the living room, played with our 

newly opened toys and watched TV like 

we always did with dad.

We shared a room—

Do you remember?

We used to line the edge of our beds 

with stuffed animals like a little army

Yet still hold on tight to baby bunny and sock monkey

You helped me make a dance for the talent show

I always tried to sleep before you

I begged, can you please turn your light off?

You would bicker with me or

just stay silent as you watched nickelodeon

When you moved to your own room

12 steps to the left

I wanted the same bright light that kept

me awake all those nights.

I moved my bed into the space you left.

I couldn't fall asleep without

The Drake and Josh song playing in the background

II.

I pushed you in a store once.

I took it too far.

I couldn't forget.

Did you?

I always wanted to hang out with your friends— 

I was annoying and loud.

Now my voice has faded.

Did you notice I went quiet?

Remember when you had your first heartbreak?

You came home from school.

Mom decorated your room.

With all the things you like—

Did you know I helped her?

I put together the cookies and the comfy PJs

I laid them out on your bed

I made it look nice.

I hope it made you feel better.

I want our room back.

I want you to leave the light on. 

Open that door again.

Don't shut it in my face

Don't strangle my neck with bob wire

As my face gets hot and my eyes swell up.

Let's play in the snow again

Help me put my snow suit on

We can go down the slide together

push the snow as we go down

Just turn around and tell me you love me

And I will say it back

Please do it first

Please validate me 

I long to be—

anywhere

That makes us family.