Disillusion & Seclusion

I enjoy my thoughts

of dread.

I live in my room that is full

of nothing.

I look to the future 

and let it pass me by. 

I despise the draining doubts that

I discover when I’m alone. 

I stare at my ceiling. 

If I stare longer, harder, more attentively…

Will I find an answer?

No. 

There are no answers written on my ceiling.

There are no answers found in the folds of my brain.

All I see is the hazelnut paint coating my ceiling. 

All I hear is a droning noise 

radiating from my alarm clock.

I accept the status of my life—endless doubts…

yet no solutions, remedies, or treatments.

I shut my eyes.

The disillusions fade away.

I wake up to go through the motions of yet another day.