i hesitantly proceed towards the exhausted, cold fence which houses what is left of my mother the jagged rocks beneath my feet taunt me as they were certain they belonged i stare at the enclosement it is what isolates me from the person i desire the most adorned with citrus colored flowers and dirty stricken tiles none of which pertain to me i thought it wouldn’t be so hard this time after all it’s been almost 8 years instead everyday her absence clouds my being and i am chronically suffocating as my lungs crave her comforting breath i have learned to style my hair wear high heels flirt with boys and face the challenges of womanhood on my own i don’t remember much anymore this only haunts me her laugh her smile her supposed voice which used to fill others ears with joy whisper to my penitent conscience as it has flown away from my disappointing cerebral matter