How to Tie a Tie
Alone, I prepared myself for
my first concert in the fifth grade
pulling my clothes
out of the closet.
My hands shaking,
my stomach sickening.
The floor creaks as I enter the room,
the rapid taps from my father’s computer
get louder as I approach him.
My voice barely produces
the words that my dad almost ignores.
Disappointment forms two creases
in between his two agitated eyebrows
when I ask the question
“How do you tie a tie?”
The next words to exit his mouth
are the words I’ve lived by ever since.
I stare awaiting his response.
The silence was long enough to wonder
if he had even heard me speak.
“Google it,” he says,
then glaring at me
signaling a prompt exit
as he had given me the answer
that he believes I desired.
But now I understand
my childhood of independence
and how much better off I’ve become
because of a dad who did not care.