I can feel you

Feel you standing in my meadow

A meadow of sorrow

Where dreams and lost toys go to rest

Where the light shouldn't shine

Where you shouldn't be

I slept once

And felt your presence

Saw where you shouldn't be

Saw you threatened by the mechanisms of your own failure

Saw your frightened expression, as if your entire world came crashing down and the only one who truly understood it was me

But I didn't do anything then

Couldn't, as I was held behind my own fear

Fear of my world changing, fear of what you could do

A great black bear, trapped in a bear trap

I saw it while hiking across the forests of

my dreams

Its obsidian black fur shining in the sun

Its large ears wiggling in response to my movement

I watched as its crimson red blood flowed from its left leg, which was about severed

I can vividly describe the face it looked at me with

Disbelief, Anger, Desperation

All of these things came crashing down on me

Personified by the glare of this bear

A trapped and afraid animal

One created by my subconscious thoughts

And again

I had the same dream

But, when it looked at me

I began to sing

Sing as I've never sung in my life

A noise coming from my mouth I was sure wasn't my voice

Louder than a lion's roar

Softer than a cat's purr

The most beautiful voice I have never heard in my life

But why

Why do I sing for this bear

Why am I comforting this bear

What does this bear mean to me?

What has this bear done for me

Why does it keep showing up in my dreams

Why does it show up in my meadow of sorrows?

Where it shouldn't be

Where my dreams and cherished things went to die?

Is my mind trying to tell me something

Is there something I should know

Something it's trying to tell me?

Something I should have done

Something I could've done

Should I have helped the bear?

Stopped it from bleeding out in my dreams

And entering my meadow of sorrow?

And now I'm here

Standing across from it

In my meadow of sorrows

And it's smiling

Happy to see me

As if everything is okay

When nothing is

Nothing can ever be okay

Not anymore

At least not as the way things were

I should've known

That leaving you for all this long was the reason for your death

I'm sorry...








R.I.P Grandpa

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